Moving To Australia from the UK, Homesickness
10 minute read ⌚
The last few days have absolutely wiped me out in terms of feeling homesick.
In fact, it has been more than that. It’s been full of me questioning our decision to move here.
Have I made the wrong decision?
Is everyone else feeling as rubbish as I?
Have I ruined my kids’ lives by coming here?
Is it what we expected?
We have all had waves of missing the UK, mainly our friends and family, since we arrived. But the last few days have hit very differently. I have been uncontrollably upset at random times of the day. Waking up crying, getting teary at bizarre times and occasionally wondering what my plan would be if I returned to the UK and how quickly I could get back to my life there.
It’s crazy what can set you off. The first big catalyst has to be going to work. Not only did I absolutely love my job in the UK, but I knew what I was doing. In fact, I would say I was nearly at an expert level. So to walk into a brand new school in a brand new country and stand and teach a class was just so strange and unfamiliar in many ways.
Processes and systems are so different here. I thrive on routine, and so for that reason, I started questioning my decision to be a supply (or TRT) teacher to tide us over for the next few months. But then I thought, my kids have had to do exactly the same. And they are doing it so well. So can I…right?
The next event to set me off was none other than attending the Adelaide Utd soccer match against Sydney FC on Friday night.
Back home in Coventry, belting out ‘We’ll Live and Die in These Towns’ by The Enemy before a home game at the CBS always gets me in the feels.
Makes me proud of where I come from and reminds me that I am Cov through and through.
Cue being sat in our new ‘home’ stadium with levels of football which aren’t quite up to the UK Championship and feeling like an alien in the stands.
I actually really enjoyed the game, the set-up, the family fun and the food! But again, it’s just not home.
Already missing home and finding a new routine slightly strange, Friday then set me off into an emotional spiral over the weekend. I tried my best to put on a brave face and shake it off. We had a lovely day in the CBD on Saturday, and then I loved watching my boy during his soccer trials on Sunday, followed by a chilled afternoon together.
I shared how I was feeling on social media, proving that moving here isn’t all beaches and sunsets…although they are stunning!
I met with a fellow expat for a chat, which really helped, and I was so grateful to be able to do that. People here have been so kind.
Lots of people sent advice and reassured me that my feelings are all normal and to be expected. The biggest takeaway is that, unfortunately, you have to just ‘ride it out’. I told people at home too, and chatted on FaceTime with some family and friends. Again, this really helps, but at the same time, you just want a big hug and for them to tell you what the right answer is.
However, the right answer is that there is no right answer. People can offer their advice, suggestions and a shoulder to cry on. But ultimately, you are in your own head. You are in control of your own thoughts. And only you can do something about it.
So I have let myself cry and question my decisions. I now have big, puffy eyes to prove it! I have been honest with people and spoken to Chris because let’s face it, if anyone knows how I feel, then it is him, as he is going through the same emotions.
I have given myself a day away from relief teaching, despite having a few offers coming through, to just sort my head out, get some admin sorted so that I can get paid, journal (as this always helps me) and although the weather is giving the UK today (just to make me feel at home!) I will get out and get some fresh air.
One of the top tips a lot of people have given me is to remember why you came. Go back to your ‘why’.
Missing the UK, you are likely romanticising the good parts. The family events, the comforts, the stability. What you are forgetting are all the negatives. The reasons you wanted to leave in the first place. So many people would do anything for this opportunity, and so I need to make the most of it. We have worked so hard, saved so much money and gone through so much just to be here.
Being in a new place where you owe nothing to anyone but yourself is also quite liberating. Don’t like teaching here? Do something else. Don’t want to commit to something new you have started? Then don’t. There is so much freedom in just being here. There are so many options for things to do, explore and try out.
This is the time to look into a new career, new hobbies and new family events.
So for now, I will ride my rollercoaster of emotions. I will allow myself to miss home, but not to the point where it consumes all of the positives of being here.
I will allow the tears to flow, as long as there aren’t more of them than smiles and laughter. I will also stop trying to have everything all figured out after 7 weeks. Because that isn’t realistic at all. We have achieved so much and done so many lovely things that for now, I need to just focus on that.
Let’s just go with the flow and accept whatever that may look like. For now.
